{ C o l i b r i – – ☂

"A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession." Albert Camus

Epiphany

Last night, as I lay in bed trying to breath though my lungs were blocked by yucky sickness mucus, I had an epiphany.

The twins I had wanted to be a part of my shortfilm for university applications are unavailable, and I was forced to conjure up a plan B. Luckily, my Italian friend Anastasia is talented in acting, and I have asked her to replace them. I am lucky to have very good friends who are supporting my goal as a future filmmaker.

But then I remembered… It wouldn’t make any sense if there was only one. My whole idea had to be reworked, so everything fit like a puzzle with my new subject. And luckily, at 11pm last night, it came to me full-force! I had to write it down – it wasn’t anything I could afford to lose.

As you must know, my short must be a work of art. Not simply a little story with a cute end, with crap production design because I’m only limited to my own house. No. Fail. I’m very straightforward with my ideas – it MUST be this way, otherwise, everything falls apart. If there’s a broken connection, it doesn’t feel right. I guess it’s a good trait if you’re aiming to be a director. Anyway, at the university’s presentation, they specifically asked that the short represented you as a filmmaker and an artist. They want to see if you can project your creativity in film, and that’s the kind of trait that’s going to let me in.

My idea circles around the way we feel when we’re about to create something. Whenever I want to start a piece, I always worry about the outcome – what others will think about it, or if they’ll think it’s too much for the outside world to accept. I’m sure every creative person has felt that way before. My film will be about that specific uncertainty.

I see it very clearly. Actually, my sister was listening to this song the other day, and I thought it was perfect for the video. It’s got this eerie circus-freak feel to it, which is exactly the kind of mood that I want to set.

It will start with a girl living in this very conservative atmosphere. She starts to see her “creative side”, the one she fears to let out. She feels she’ll be judged by those around her if she listens to it. But she gives in to curiosity and starts to follow that side of her. It leads her out of her bubble, and in the end, it stops before an empty canvas, and a paintbrush is waiting for her.

That’s the basic outline of it, anyway.  What do you think? (: I haven’t told many people about it yet – mostly because I’m stuck here with this yucky cold. My teacher yesterday gave me the recommendation letter I’ve been asking for. I was really surprised!! I honestly thought for sure he’d forgotten or stopped caring. I was really afraid about it. But he wrote some good stuff for me and I really hope it’s going to get me surer access to the Mel Hoppenheim School of Cinema.

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Thinking on New Year’s resolution already!!

I’ve made up a list of things I want to do for 2010, already. My goals. 2010 will be a year of my determination as an artist. I’m a creator, I have been since I was 10. No more teenage angst. No more teenage problems in general. I’m an adult now, and I’m in control!

1. find a mate. another half. not in a bar.

2. develop creativity. at least one drawing every two days.

3. start writing mothpowder and stick to it.

4. get in shape, lose weight. look good = feel good.

5. get rid of graphic T’s. You’re not a kid anymore. You are what you wear, not what you can only afford to wear.

6. finish what you start. No more half-assed bullshit.

7. read, watch, and learn from it.

8. meats larger than a chicken & mayo out of the diet. gross.

9. work your ass off into university. and when you do, work even harder.

10. computer hours reduced to two, max. get shit done.

11. get bursaries & scholarships. maybe a job, too.

Let’s see how this goes.

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One With Nature

First off, I must apologize for procrastinating on Mothpowder. You see, Mothpowder is the result of me procrastinating from essays and other school work, and I’ve been having… more than I expected. Sure, I’m comfortable writing essays, but french ones? not as much. The rules are far more complicated, and the subject isn’t one I’m familiar with, so everything’s gone all loopy with my writing. I go from formal to not, and back again. But these days, I’ve been craving some Mothpowder and I know now why I’m having so much difficulty with this.

For one, writing is not my initial medium. I’ve been taught to paint with brushes, not words. This is a challenge. I have my ideas, but when I start to write them out in order, with some kind of flow, the flow fails and I store it away to be forgotten. I suppose I admit I haven’t been confident in my writing. I’m alright with small writing, like poems, mini short stories. They’re simple and that’s my comfort zone. I don’t like complications or detail. Even in my drawings I rarely went further than sketches.  Slowly, I’m returning to the habit of writing. My mom discovered my work (onoes) and encourages me to write more, possibly scripts for films. She’s been nosy, likes to know what I’m up to. But I like my private life, too. Some time alone is always nice and rewarding.

However, I did get a little something out of this writing hiatus.  An idea for a sequel. Its title will be Tearlint. For a third, if it should happen, I have Ashenfade. Hurray! Progress. (:<

Earlier today, I was really inspired by the Behind The Scenes footage of the upcoming movie The Road, starring Viggo Mortensen. Written by the same writer/director who did No Country For Old Men. Maybe The Road will prompt me to see the latter, since I haven’t although I’ve been wanting to since its nominations at the Oscars on its release year. For those who don’t know, The Road is set in a post-apocalyptic America, about a pair of remaining survivors; a father & his son. The movie portrays the emotion the two main characters face so beautifully, and I truly admire the director, who refused to have a studio & instead shot the entire film on location. This movie comes out november 25th, so while I waited for its release, friday night, I watched the new Star Trek movie. Loved it. Highlyrecommend it. I mean, I’m no Trekkie, and I totally fell in love with Chris Pine. He’s a babe, first of all, and his friendship with Spock was so cute. <: Okay, some shots were really cheesy, but it was fun and totally worth watching with my mum!

Speaking of movies.

My own film is currently undergoing post-production. We’re working on editing and hopefully filling out as much as possible until the deadline. It’s due tomorrow, my but team & I believe he’s just bullshitting and the project is going to be pushed for later during the week. So far, it’s looking delicious. We’ve got some nice effects, ideas from everyone in the team. I loved to work on this so much more since we all got a chance to do everything. Directing, filming, editing, sound. Everyone did their part. We even got our own stunt-person.

You cannot go more legit than this.

Funny shooting moment:

we’re getting ready to shoot a scene in the woods. all of a sudden, we pause, start looking at eachother. it smelled like rotten egg.

Ally: Okay, who the hell farted.

Marie: Wasn’t me.

Me: Wasn’t me – and I would tell you if it was me.

We ignore it for a while, keep shooting. It smells like shit now.

Ally: we can’t shoot in this stink. WTF!

me: could be a bear. bears are smelly.

marie: (we were by her house in the middle of nowhere) yeah there’s supposed to be one around here.

Ally: oh great. I’m going to be some overgrown animal’s dinner!

We hear rustling in the woods. Everyone gasps.

Turns out it was a dear doing its business nearby.

I love being one with nature. Don’t you? :D

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Being a Busy Bee

Last Friday, my friends and I went to a charity event organized by someone who used to work at our school. It’s a semi-formal party that only our school is allowed to attend. It was located in a simple-enough hall, with chandeliers, a little buffet, and round chairs placed here and there. The food tasted like icicles, but otherwise, we had a lot of fun. This party also made me realise how much I need to lose weight. o-o

I’m third from the left. The one thing that pissed got me down that night…. it was that time of the month.

I came back home at around 12:30am, got ready, went to bed at 1am. The next morning, I had to wake up at 6:20am – i know, brutal – to go for a two-hour car drive to Montreal City, where I went to visit universities.

Now, as you all know, I am planning on pursuing my studies in film production – a very competitive program. At the first university I visited, Concordia, I was incredibly stunned by their program. It is one of the most prestigious in Canada, and it shows. Some members of the program were nominated for Oscars. For Canadians to go that far – that’s pretty legit to me!

I walked into the auditorium, while my cousin went to the presentation for the photography program (which apparently sucked). The production teacher first starts his speech.

“Now, for those interested in making Fight Club action movies (I raised my head with interest), or slasher horror movies and shit like that – get the fuck out. We don’t want you.” Four, five people left. I was considering, but was too curious and decided to listen to the whole thing. This guy was intriguing. He continued explaining how  Concordia focuses on the creative development and how its students in the film production/animation program can input their vision & personality on screen. Which is exactly what I have been looking for. The other schools? If you’ve held a camera before, you’re good to go. But Concordia is more than that. It encourages the creative process, weird/wacko visions that don’t seem to make sense at all. It realized, I think, how 90% of films today are based on something, and note exactly a produce of the film creator’s mind.They want originality. They want the people to remember that the film industry is, in itself, a form of art, and not only advertisement! I was completely blown away and now, I am determined to show them that, though I’m not the best with equipment, my mind is craving to explode onto the screen.  The downer here is I can’t use any projects I’ve created in highschool because all of those was teamwork. For my portfolio, they demand a 3 minute film demonstrating my vision. I’m not panicking about this – I’ve got plenty of ideas for it!  My media teacher is encouraging me to work extra hard on this and he is lending me equipment so I can have something before the profiles deadline. Although, I think that, because I’m not good with machines, I won’t survive very long. But my creativity is stronger than my technical knowledge – which is the criteria pursued by this University.

Now, the second university – I won’t even talk about it. It spat in my face, totally not interested. Not something I want to attend. >>

I know I haven’t posted a Tuesday Treasures.

No time. DX

On that weekend’s Sunday, my big sister took me shopping in Montreal – which is almost the equivalent of New York City. Everything there is bigger, better, and more expensive! I bought this adorable little wallet for 23$, and three pairs of nylons I am planning on starting my fashion change with. XD

DSC_0001Excuse the blur and admire the adorableness that is owls! I’m having an owl-fetish these days. So cute. Apparently, they’re beginning a trend, too! D’Awh C:

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