{ C o l i b r i – – ☂

"A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession." Albert Camus

Epiphany

Last night, as I lay in bed trying to breath though my lungs were blocked by yucky sickness mucus, I had an epiphany.

The twins I had wanted to be a part of my shortfilm for university applications are unavailable, and I was forced to conjure up a plan B. Luckily, my Italian friend Anastasia is talented in acting, and I have asked her to replace them. I am lucky to have very good friends who are supporting my goal as a future filmmaker.

But then I remembered… It wouldn’t make any sense if there was only one. My whole idea had to be reworked, so everything fit like a puzzle with my new subject. And luckily, at 11pm last night, it came to me full-force! I had to write it down – it wasn’t anything I could afford to lose.

As you must know, my short must be a work of art. Not simply a little story with a cute end, with crap production design because I’m only limited to my own house. No. Fail. I’m very straightforward with my ideas – it MUST be this way, otherwise, everything falls apart. If there’s a broken connection, it doesn’t feel right. I guess it’s a good trait if you’re aiming to be a director. Anyway, at the university’s presentation, they specifically asked that the short represented you as a filmmaker and an artist. They want to see if you can project your creativity in film, and that’s the kind of trait that’s going to let me in.

My idea circles around the way we feel when we’re about to create something. Whenever I want to start a piece, I always worry about the outcome – what others will think about it, or if they’ll think it’s too much for the outside world to accept. I’m sure every creative person has felt that way before. My film will be about that specific uncertainty.

I see it very clearly. Actually, my sister was listening to this song the other day, and I thought it was perfect for the video. It’s got this eerie circus-freak feel to it, which is exactly the kind of mood that I want to set.

It will start with a girl living in this very conservative atmosphere. She starts to see her “creative side”, the one she fears to let out. She feels she’ll be judged by those around her if she listens to it. But she gives in to curiosity and starts to follow that side of her. It leads her out of her bubble, and in the end, it stops before an empty canvas, and a paintbrush is waiting for her.

That’s the basic outline of it, anyway.  What do you think? (: I haven’t told many people about it yet – mostly because I’m stuck here with this yucky cold. My teacher yesterday gave me the recommendation letter I’ve been asking for. I was really surprised!! I honestly thought for sure he’d forgotten or stopped caring. I was really afraid about it. But he wrote some good stuff for me and I really hope it’s going to get me surer access to the Mel Hoppenheim School of Cinema.

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